THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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