Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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