you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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