So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
do nipples grow back?
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