Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
