My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
