I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
