CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
