If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
