well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
