end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
