6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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