no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
