Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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