I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
