the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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