I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
