ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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