We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I can't turn off my feet"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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