I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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