Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Green mimosas i think yes
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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