Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
