would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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