i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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