Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Watching her eat just hurts me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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