yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I can't turn off my feet"
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
