do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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