i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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