hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
