Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
