I can tuck mytits in my pants
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
