This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
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