Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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