at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Randomize
