No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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