ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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