I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
it's not cheating when I paid for it
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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