Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Ketchup is God's man juice
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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