I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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