Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
