WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
