at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
