tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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