; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
