she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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