No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
