very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
