I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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