So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
