She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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