Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
false alarm, still single
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
