he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
