i was born a porn star she said
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
