I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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