Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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