I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
